My last post was in April… I feel like a decade has passed since then. I am still pretty active on Instagram, but mostly posting in my stories. Before I get back to regular posts…
Health: I dislocated my knee in May. It took a week for it to get back in place and I went to the ER but they didn’t confirm a dislocation (it was dislocating in a bent position). It was only later when speaking with a specialist in EDS that it was confirmed as being out of place. Starting in April, I started getting migraines more frequently. I tracked them in June and July and had 5 days without a migraine across the past 2 months. Last week, I had a migraine for 5 days so I went to the ER. Then I had three days migraine free! Today I am getting one but I am taking it easy.
Sewing: I have done a bit here and there and I will post about that soon, but physically I haven’t been able to do too much. But yes, I made masks. I still participated in Me Made May and sketched all my outfits. I will post a roundup here since I love seeing all the outfits together like that.
Mental health: I’ve been not doing very well. For the first time in a really long time, I’ve had suicidal ideation. I have never been quiet about my mental health since I believe it is important to talk about it. I am safe. I have a social worker that works with me on mindfulness and CBT. It’s been really tough though.
Pandemic: Since the pandemic hit, it’s been tough to see how suddenly the accommodations I was denied before are now so widely available. It’s also been tough to see the reopening and the casual acceptance of death. It’s definitely been contributing to my mental health issues since such a large proportion of people who are dying are disabled, poor, BIPOC, marginalized people. It felt hopeful as we all quarantined at the beginning and now I feel like all that hope was false as the economy became more important.
Black Lives Matter
There is no debate. Black lives matter. Black people deserve to live and not just live they deserve to live in joy without the fear of police brutality or legalized murder or systemic racism that contributes to higher instances of death medically as well as generational poverty. Black lives matter. Black disabled lives matter. Black queer lives matter. Black Lives Matter. Black joy matters.
Defund the police: As a white nonbinary femme-presenting person, I haven’t encountered police that often, but I have never had a positive experience with the police. I am not exaggerating. I say that knowing that all my experiences with police were relatively safe for me and I benefited from my privileges. I have witnessed police grouping with white supremacists and attacking a peaceful pride parade along with white men in army camo. I have witnessed police harassing unhoused people. I have witnessed police carding and harassing Black and Indigenous people. Defund the police means that there would be more community programs, more mental health funding and a mental health crisis response team (NOT part of the police), more affordable and free housing, and preventative healthcare, etc. You want a safer society? Give society the tools to fucking live and the support to be joyful. Take the money to create basic income for all.
2020 is transformative. What that transformation ends up being is up to each of us.